Nov. 24th, 2015

seimaisin: (warden beth)
I'm grateful to have my creativity back.

A couple of months ago, I started to cut back on my Effexor, with my doctor's blessing. I'm now down to 37.5mg per day (along side my daily Wellbutrin), and the difference has been astonishing. I knew I'd been a little cloudy, especially in creative terms - and I figured it wasn't a coincidence that the last substantial thing I wrote was finished right before I started the Effexor, back in 2013. But I didn't quite get how much my mental processes were muted until I scaled back on the Effexor.

I have stories in my head now, stories I feel are actually worth writing, for the first time in what feels like forever. And better, I've actually started putting words down on a couple of them.

The Effexor probably got me through the end of my old job without feeling suicidal, so I can't regret being on it. But FUCK, I'm glad it's mostly gone now. I don't know when I'll go off it completely - I'm at least waiting until after the holidays, because there'll be some ridiculous withdrawal symptoms - but right now, I feel like I'm at a good place. Thank all the gods.

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seimaisin

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